Posts by Pete Zahut

128

YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.

by brandnew in

jw
friends

if getting ready means putting on a suit........ you might be a j.w.. if going out to the field has nothing to do with grass, baseball diamonds, or football ......... you might be a j.w.. please continue my friends.......i know ya got some.....; ).

Pete Zahut

You might be a JW...

If you can keep a straight face when you hear someone use the phrase " thought provoking" or "thus far" in a sentence, you might be a JW.

Your biggest goal in life is to become a Servant, you might be a JW.

If your infant son has his own suit and tie, you might be a JW.

If you own stadium cushions and have never been to a sporting event, you might be a JW.

If you have been to a sporting event but didn't take your seat until after the National Anthem was played, you may be a JW.

If a detailed report of how your monetary donations are being spent isn't available to you, you might be a JW.

If you're a full time Pioneer but have never headed west in a Conestoga Wagon, you might be a JW.

5

Spin off Public Witness cart songs already appearing on Internet

by Esse quam videri in

how thy racks are so shiny!

how thy racks are so shiny!.

Pete Zahut

Clang Clang Clang goes the Trolley,

Ding Dong Ding goes the Bell.

Unless you become a Witness,

You're going straight to ~~Hell~~ (Sheol)

17

Jehovah's Witness pi$$ing contest

by hoser in

jw
friends

ok more about the jw wedding i attended.

there were these two couples at our dinner table that were having an all out pissing competition as to who was the most spiritual.

they were comparing who was in "the truth" the longest, who pioneered where and for how long.

Pete Zahut

You should have told them that your Son gave his first talk when he was only 5 years old and he did it speaking Farsi.

21

circumcision as a mark of gods people

by user100 in

so the last two watchtower studies talked about circumcision as a mark of god's people.

i thought it was weird why they would pick that as a mark.

why dont they chop of their earlobe er something.

Pete Zahut

I remember a little girl answering one of the questions during a Sunday Watchtower study dealing with the difference between "literal circumcision" and "circumcision of the heart" ( a favorite JW topic) . Much to the discomfort of the audience, she gave a full description of each process. It was pretty creepy and one of those moments I was glad there wasn't a new person in the audience or one of my "unbelieving" relatives.

5

we are in the 3rd century of the end being sooo close!

by nowwhat? in

it started in the 1870's then throughout the 20th century.

and now here we are 15 years into the 21st century.

how many generations is that?

Pete Zahut

The end has been "close" since the days of the Apostles.

14

JW Cart's Family Photos. My Pusher stole my JWCart1975 I.D. but here I am!

by JWCart in

some of us ride, some of us roll.. .

family reunion of jw carts gathering together for missionary work, some people waste their time in liberia trying to help ebola victims, jehovah's organization spends all their time focused on meaningful endeavors by bringing them salvation.

pusher said "why bother helping when people are going to die anyway, focus on the big picture (joining jehovah's organization is the only way to eliminate homelessness, hunger and global issues", doctors waste their time in west africa when they could be pushing carts with literature and books, that's real healing", i still don't understand why we can't help the poor and sick but than again, i am just a jw cart!.

Pete Zahut

If the guy on the scooter got going fast enough the tracts would deliver themselves !

5

Saved by the Bell Reunion

by enigma1863 in

how many people saw the saved by the bell reunion on the tonight show?

i completely forgot lark voorhies is a jw.

do you think being a jw was the real reason she didn't join the reunion?.

Pete Zahut

I understand she suffers from Lupus and some kind of mental disorder but they are saying she wasn't on it because of her intense work schedule. Haven't seen her in Movies or T.V in decades....so maybe she's Pioneering this month.

27

It must be of concern to the GB with all the information that is been leaked now

by joe134cd in

i was just watching cedars prank call to tomo3.

by the way lloyd very well done and totally funny.

but on a more serious note (and i think what must be of concern to the gb) are the amount of leaks that must be occurring at a senior level or at least by a person who has access to sensitive information.

Pete Zahut

They're in a self imposed prison cell whose bars are made of secrets that aren't really secrets rather paranoid delusions about their own importance and significance in the world scheme.

51

EXPERTS ONLY! A Pop Quiz on (current) Watchtower teaching

by TerryWalstrom in

pop quiz on jw (current) teaching.

1. was jesus 2nd coming in 1914?.

2. is jesus 2nd (parousia) presence the same thing as his coming?.

Pete Zahut

1. Was Jesus’ 2nd coming in 1914?

He would have been too old by then to come twice especially since they hadn't invented Viagra yet.

2. Is Jesus’ 2nd (parousia) presence the same thing as his ‘coming?’

No, although he was in deed present, there was no second coming, (see above)

3. Is the doctrine of the ‘faithful and discreet slave’ still regarded as a prophecy instead of a parable?

It was a prophecy that was made into a mini-series called Roots starring Lavar Burton

4. Were the FDS appointed over ‘all His belongings’ in 1919?

Yes they were and they were appointed over your belongings as well.

5. Did the Gentile Times end in 1914, or is that yet to come at a future date?

Yes, the Gentile Times was bought-out by the International Bible Students and was run into the ground. Eventually it resurfaced as The WATCHTOWER

6. Is the ‘great tribulation’ in the past, the present, or yet to come in the future?

Anyone who lived through the Bush years knows the answer to that one.

7. Did Jesus die in order to save the ‘Great Crowd’?

No...because there was nothing that great about them.

8. If the Bible was only written for the anointed, why should non-anointed bother to read it ?

The non-anointed read it just so they tell the Anointed what it's about in case someone asks them for advice..

9. Was Charles Taze Russell a member of the anointed 144,000? If so, since what date?

Yes he was and so was his wife Maria . After she died and joined him up yonder, they took up where they had left off. The marital discord and the constant bickering over these many decades resulted in the two of them being posthumously removed .

49

Ode to the trolleys in Feb's broadcast

by konceptual99 in

check out the song about the trolley at the end of this month's dubcast.. http://www.jw.org/download/?fileformat=mp4&output=html&pub=jwb&issue=201502.

.

Pete Zahut

I half expected a couple of cartoon Lobsters to start snapping their claws in time to the music like they did in The Little Mermaid.

It wouldn't surprise me if they came out with a Caleb video, featuring "Wally The Singing Trolley". as a way to get the next generation of little kids on board with the new literature cart preaching method,